Everyday Carry Pocket Dump of the Day: Smith & Wesson Shield. What’s In A Name? [MUSIC]

Smith & Wesson Shield’s moniker for their compact handgun is endlessly reassuring. You, sir, may carry a GLOCK 43. But I carry a Shield! Not a tool designed to kill. A shield against the enemies of innocent life. Some owners might fantasize that schlepping the Smith makes them an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Which stands for . . .

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Originally Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate. Then Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. Then the Homeland thing, because “Fatherland” would have made it too agricultural.

[Note: none of those are an actual federal agency; they exist in the febrile imagination of those willing to believe there could be a secret government agency that wasn’t bloated, inefficient and 90 percent ineffective. Also note: as a minimalist I would’ve gone with Sublime Headquarters.]

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I wonder if any Shield owners groove

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